The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
The filmmakers set out to do a ROGER RABBIT type of movie, with live actors and animation interacting, and for the most part they pull it off. They are successful in making a fun film by bringing to life the crazy cartoon world of Rocky and Bullwinkle. The film is loaded with cameos, reminiscent of IT'S A MAD MAD MAD WORLD (remember that film kiddies!). It even has multiple cameos by Jonathan Winters (do you know who that is little Timmy!). The star of the movie is Bullwinkle (naturally), he lets the one liners fly and they hit the bulls eye (pun intended) more than not. The film tries to do more than just entertain audiences. It also slyly makes political comments about deforestation, hazards of watching too much TV and small towns loosing their individuality. As our heroes travel across the U.S.A they find one town resembling the next (with the same fast food stores and strip malls), prompting Bullwinkle to comment, "Hey didn't we just pass this town". It gets 3 1/2 flying squirrels.
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Spielberg. Kubrick. What are the expectations? A classic. What ends up on the screen is a very good film but far from a classic. Spielberg does a great job in presenting a believable near future where creation of human like robots is possible. The acting and the special effects are all top notch. There is, however, something missing. I can't exactly point out what it is, but the film failed to get audiences emotionally involved and care about the little robot's quest. The cinematic magic present in so many of the two master's works eluded this film. This movie gets 4 blue fairies.
All About My Mother
Pedro Almodovar, the world-renowned director/writer from Spain, has given us many quirky stories in the past and this one is no exception. The Oscar nominated movie is filled with rich colorful characters (transvestites, drug addicts, and lesbians) that no matter how wacky seem 3 dimensional and real. This is a movie about women made for women by a man. A man who is definitely in touch with his feminine side. Filled with tragedy and humor, the movie will make you both cry and laugh. If you pay close attention while watching the film, the director definitely telegraphs each tragic event that occurs with heavy use of foreshadowing. This movie gets 3 hankies, two for tears of sadness and one for tears from laughter. WARNING: If you hate reading subtitles, stay away.
Almost Famous
Cameron Crow (Jerry McGuire, Say Anything) has made a film from the heart (96% autobiographical) and it shows. The movie is about his early teen years as a journalist working for the Rolling Stones and going on tour with rock bands. We get to see from his point of view the turbulent dynamics and decadent lifestyle of a 70s fictional group, Stillwater. The movie also focuses on his infatuation with a groupie, Penny Lane (an angelic vision). The cast does an all around excellent job and the filmmakers succeed in capturing the look and feel of the early 70s. The concert scenes are executed beautifully making you feel like you are right there on stage, getting blown away from all the energy and noise. The weakest part of the film is Stillwater’s songs, which sucked compared to the Led Zeppelin classics that are on the soundtrack. This film is all about the love of the music and I highly recommend it to people that love classic rock and grew up listening to it. It gets 3 groupies.
American Beauty
American Beauty is a beautiful movie. On the surface the story is about a dysfunctional family but as each onion skin is peeled away we see that there are much more wicked things brewing below the surface. It is filled with sexual tension and violence anticipation. This movie is gorgeously shot and deftly directed. The actors were perfectly cast and played their roles beautifully. Kevin Spacy once again gives an Oscar caliber performance. This is a hard movie to categorize and consequently sell to the public. It is both a comedy and a tragedy, immersed in surrealism and full of symbolic elements (A rose anyone?). It is one of the years best and I give it a deserving dozen roses.
American Pie
Your typical teenage comedy complete with geeks, jocks, horny kids, and the unavoidable Prom night showdown. The difference this time is the movie is actually funny (at times). It looses its steam by the time Prom comes along but before that faithful night there are some very funny and sick scenes that will make you laugh. If you are a junior or senior in High School this movie was made for you, run and check it out. For the rest of us old geezers (or young kids), I say wait for the video. The movie gets 5 pies for teens and 3 pies for everyone else.
American Psycho
WARNING! WARNING! Bad art movie just ahead. Stay clear of its path. Keep the children indoors. Avoid at all costs. The setting is the 80's. The characters yuppies. The top yuppie is a psychopath. He is a product of divorce, a bored rich kid who never worked a day in his life. He is methodical and a neat freak so he decides to pick up a hobby, chopping up people and eating their brains. The movie tries to be a black comedy about the greedy, self-centered people that live a privileged life. The director, however, goes overboard and uses everything she learned in film school 101. She uses lots of mirrors, desolate night streets with smoke coming out of the ground, distorted shots of the killer, the psychopaths name being Bateman (gee that name sounds familiar, hmm let me think...Norman Bates!!). There are plot holes abound and a trail of loose ends for miles. The funny thing is this movie was written and directed by women yet all the female characters are either drug addicts, hookers, money grubbing bitches or ...(you get the picture). The movie gets two lines of coke (one for the set design and the other for cinematography).
Analyze This
Genre: Mob Comedy. Good News: The pairing of Robert Deniro as the Mob Boss (typecasting??) and Billy Crystal as the Psychiatrist he goes to for help is dynamite. They have great chemistry together and most importantly they are funny (I am talking big laughs here folks). Bad News: When Deniro and Crystal are not on screen the result is boring dead air. Better News: They are on the screen 90% of the time. Catch phrase (as spoken by Deniro's Mob Boss to Crystal's Psychiatrist): "I go fag you die". Prediction: 100 Million at the box office.
Arlington Road
Do You know who your neighbor is? Is there something fishy about him? Are you going to get to the bottom of it? Well those are the questions going through Jeff Bridges mind, he does try to play amature detective and what he finds is .... well I guess you have to go see for yourself don't you. This is an unusual summer movie in that it entertains while making you think and question. The movie starts out as a routine triller but it picks up steam and never looks back, ending with a bang (literally!!). I highly recommend this movie for those looking for a little meat on their movies and not just fluff. This movie gets 4 detonators.
As Good As It Gets
Great acting and some very funny dialogue but the ending was a typical hollywood ending in that it was proposterous (When you see the movie you will know what I mean). I will recommend it for Jack Nickelson and the dog.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Minor disappointment. I was expecting non-stop belly laughs and what I got was lots of smirks, occasional smiles, and a few belly laughs. For those who have watched the original movie, like me, you might get the feeling that you are watching a bigger budgeted remake instead of a sequel. The pluses were DR. Evil and his posse (Mini-Me, Fat Bastard, etc.). The minuses were Austin Powers himself and his new love interest, Miss Shagwell. Austin was basically given the same lines as the original and this time the one liners seemed stale. My recommendation is to wait for the video/DVD release so you can fast forward through the dead spots. I give this movie two Shags out of four.
Battlefield Earth
Either I am getting too picky or science fiction films have gotten really crappy. I don't have a clue why Travolta was killing himself for years to bring this project to the screen. Only explanation has to be L. Ron Hubbard, founder of scientology; he wrote the book that inspired this film. BATTLEFIELD EARTH is full of clichés. You have the conquering race (ugly looking amoral aliens) taking over earth and using humans (good looking blond blue eyed whites) as slaves. You have the inevitable uprising and the subsequent alien defeat. You have savages (who only have had access to primitive weapons made out of sticks and stones) learning how to fly fighter jets, shoot automatic machine guns, use grenade launchers and detonate nuclear bombs (the film takes place in 3000 AD yet the military equipment is from 2000 AD!!!). Seven days, believe it folks, they learn how to use these sophisticated equipment in 7 days (yes there is a biblical reference there, number 7 is not arbitrary). The same general story line has been done many many times before and done much much better. The film reminds me of a cheesy PLANET OF THE APES sequel. A film like this should get the audience excited, involved, and caring for the faith of humanity. Frankly you just sit there dumb founded at the dialogue, watching lots and lots of meaningless explosions. I looked at my watch at least 4 times, trying to deduce how many more minutes were left before the end credits would start rolling. Again, is it I or is it the dumb down films that are being made today. You have to decide for yourself. Bagboy gives the summer's first major turkey one oxygen mask (believe me it needs it bad).
Being John Malkovich
Original, funny, twisted, and definitely disturbing (especially if you are John Malkovich!) is how I would describe the movie. Spike Jonze (director) and Charlie Kaufman (writer) have teamed up to bring an oddity to the silver screen, a surreal movie made within Hollywood conventional narrative. The Hollywood convention (be it a twisted one) is a love triangle between a husband, a wife and their object of affection, another woman. If you let go of that part of the brain that looks for logic, you will have a great time watching this movie. This movie gets 4 Malkoviches.
A Beautiful Mind
This is an entertaining film that does a great job at keeping its secrets secret until its time to reveal them. An Oscar worthy performance by Russell Crow does service to the real life John Nash, whose fascinating life this film is loosely based upon. This film gets 3 top-secret codes.
The Big Hit
This is a wacky movie that I have to give a mixed recommendation to. On the negative side you have badly choreographed action sequences. They were confusing (the camera was too close) and not very trilling (nothing you haven't seen before). On the positive side this movie was very funny at times and never took itself too seriously. The first half hour of the movie was confusing but as the movie went along it picked up momentum. There is one other reason to go see this movie: China Chow!!
The Big Lebowski
This is the latest movie from the Cohen Brothers. Although it is not as good as FARGO and RAISING ARIZONA, it is still better than 90% of the movies that are out there. Stuff that stood out for me were the performances of John Goodman and John Turturro, the dream sequences (totally wacky) and the name of the main character "dude" (Jeff Bridges). For a different perspective please check out Samgo's review.
Blow
Blow blows it!! We have all seen it before, the rise and fall of a drug dealer. No new territories being tackled here. This time the film is based on the real life story of a Mr. George Jung. We are taken on a journey from the flower power of the 60's to the glamour Coke days of the 70's, showing us the ascention of a middle class kid and the downfall of a rich fat cat perched on top of the drug import business. Great acting (Depp, Liotta) and direction are wasted on a stale subject matter. My biggest complaints are the bad makeup job done on Depp and Penélope Cruz's bad overacting. It gets 2 1/2 ounces of Grade A pot.
Bowfinger
Bowfinger is a satire of Hollywood. Poking fun at the dog eat dog world of movie making, it shows to what extreme some people will go to make their dreams and movies become reality. Bowfinger is not a bad movie, neither is it a great movie, it is just an ok movie. There are some laughs but not an overwhelming amount. None of the actors embarrass themselves, some actually shine very bright (Eddie Murphy). I will give this movie three out of five fingers.
Cast Away
The good news: Cast Away is a very well made film with great direction and acting. The bad news: the story of a marooned man on a deserted island and his struggles with nature and civilization has been told many times before (Robinson Crusoe). This movie really doesn't add anything new here and there is no real good reason to make this film other than to get Tom Hanks another Oscar for his marvelous acting talents. I would like to take this opportunity now to vent my anger at product placement in movies. When you pay your hard earned money to go see a movie, you are there in the theater to be entertained and to escape from your everyday problems. You are not there to be bombarded with commercials for products and this is exactly what is occurring these days. Cast Away takes this concept to a new level and is basically a long form commercial for FedEx, Wilson sporting equipment, and Dr Pepper. The FedEx logo is plastered all over the screen. That is not right folks. Please give us a break for just 2 hours so we could escape from capitalism for the briefest of moments. Thank you. This film gets 3 Wilson volleyballs.
The Cell
You keep going to the movies hoping for something different, something original and innovative. Expectations are so low that coming across a mere attempt is good enough. This is such a film. Your conventional serial killer movie told in a fresh way with imagination. By setting most of the action to take place inside the human mind, the film frees itself from rules and logic. First time filmmaker, Tarsem, has created a visual feast, a fully realized and wondrous dream world. He is a unique talent because he looks at the world differently than the rest of us and it shows in his work. The film gets 4 mutilated dolls.
Charlie's Angels
Hollywood has finally succeeded in making its first successful 90-minute music video montage, a series of beautiful images accompanied by various pop songs playing in the background. The director utilizes the god given physical beauty of its 3 heroines to its fullest while completely wasting Bill Murray's comedic talents. It is a male fantasy come to life. You get beautiful chicks parading in sexy cloths and using martial arts to kick bad guy's asses (in slow motion no less so you could savor every punch and kick that is dished out). What more could you ask for!!! If you are looking for a coherent story or character development, forget it. If on the other hand you are looking to have a purely fun visual experience then go for it. It gets 2 nice round perky asses.
Chicken Run
Who could ask for anything more than a classic family picture about chickens! The filmmakers succeed in creating three-dimensional characters out of clay. Both the young and the old will find themselves involved in the story, caring and rooting for the chickens to succeed in their quest for freedom. It is both funny and educational, teaching kids about perseverance and teamwork. A perfect made to order propaganda piece for the vegetarian community; you will definitely not feel like having a chicken sandwich after watching this movie. The film also pays homage to such classic action pictures as THE GREAT ESCAPE and RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. There is one negative point to be made (isn't there always), the film fails to answer the question Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It gets 4 chicken pies.
City of Angels
If you are a true romantic, if you believe in the power of love and if you are willing to take a leap of faith then this movie is for you. The movie has a great look to it and the acting is superb (Meg Ryan looks hot!!). This is definitely a chick pic!
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Director Ang Lee has created a new genre, the martial arts chick flick epic. The movie's focus is on human emotions and the constant struggle between loyalty vs love vs freedom vs commitment vs independence vs marriage. There are however some nice action set pieces and the flying scenes have a fluid dreamlike quality to them. This is one chick flick where men will be dragging women to see. It gets 4 crouching Dragons.
Dark City
It is a thinking man's Sci-Fi movie. The look and the atmoshpere it creates is top notch, you feel that you have been transported to an alternative earth. When you come out of this movie you will be questioning a lot of things! Am I who I think I am (you will know what I mean when you see the movie). I highly recommend this picture to those people looking for a new experience.
Dogma
If you want me to describe this movie in one word look no further than the title and remove the 'ma'. This movie is a DOG. Kevin Smith, the writer/director, has done some funny films in the past but he struck out big time with this one. I went in looking to laugh my ass off and instead I felt like I had gone to church with a priest giving a sermon and he was making stuff up just to piss people off. The film takes risks and plays loose with religious myths to be sure. The problem is that it is too preachy, big chunks of the movie seem to have been left off on the cutting room floor, and more importantly it is not that funny. The only funny thing is the antics of a recurrent character in all of Smith's films, Jay the doper (notice I didn't mention Silent Bob, the other half of the dynamic duo). This movie was a big disappointment. It gets one angel.
Enemy Of The State
Surprise. Hollywood has made a good movie (not great but good). I went to this movie expecting the usual and I got the usual but in a very well done package. This movie has got everything going for it acting, editing, cinematography, sound, direction. Only thing missing is an original story. The chase scenes are top notch and the subject matter does make you think and question authority. A definite popcorn movie. Oh yes (almost forgot), the catch phrase is: "They are watching you, strip to your underwear and don't look up!!"
Eyes Wide Shut
I went to this movie with big expectations. I was expecting the last masterpiece from the legendary director Stanley Kubrick. What I found was a small art movie with big stars about sexual obsessions and infidelity. There were some outstanding performances, specifically by Nicole Kidman and Rade Serbedzija. The music was haunting and effective. The Orgy Scene was beautiful and spell binding to say the least. On the negative side, I found the screenplay to be not fully fleshed out with some plot holes and full of cliches. This is a movie that I can only recommend to movie buffs and Kubrick completists who want to see his last work. Go to this movie with your eyes wide open and no big expectations, it might just win you over.
Fantasia 2000
This film is a mixed bag. Some of the animation sequences were great (Pink Flamingos), others were ok (Donald Duck), and the rest were boring (Flying Whales). The classic music that accompanied each sequence was all top notch. I didn't care that much for the introductions by various people before each animation segment, I felt that it prevented the audience from getting absorbed into the world created by the animators. Even though this is a Disney cartoon, I do not recommend this film for the very young, they will not enjoy most of the segments and will be bored to death!! The film gets 2 broomsticks.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The best anti drug movie ever made. After watching this movie you will never be curious to know what it would be like to take acid or other psychedelic drugs (any drug for that matter). Johnny Depp does a great job playing Hunter S. Thompson (oscar worthy). He is a writer on assignment in Las Vegas who is also in search of finding reasons and meaning for the events that occured in the sixties. He looks for the answers in drugs, by taking all the drugs known to man and lots of it. The results of his experimentations are sometimes hilarious but most of the times it just turns in to a gross out situation. I cannot recommend this movie because ultimately it made me more sick than it entertained me.
15 Minutes
Attention film students, may I present to you a gold mine for term papers! This is the only film you need to see to get ideas, regardless of the class or subject matter, period. The film deserves to be commended for putting a mirror to the American society, showing us all the things that are wrong with it (pursuit of fame and fortune at all costs, lack of morality, the media, etc). The filmmakers should also be reprimanded for doing the same thing they are commenting about. For the pursuit of box office success they go for the cliché action set pieces, predictable ending, and destroy dramatic moments they work so hard to build by going for the cheap joke. Still just attempting to make a commercial film that tackles such relevant issues, no matter how flawed, should be supported. It gets 2 camcorders.
Fight Club
This movie is cool. Its got hot stars, fabulous visuals, funny dark humor, and its controversial to boot. To sum it up, its got an edge. It takes pot shots at corporate America and how men have gone soft and become more feminine in this society. Its time for a change, its time for men to be men again, its time for a revolution. The sad part is that it starts with a bang but ends with a whimper. I was disappointed with the last third of the movie. The revelation/twist at the end did not work for me. I can only recommend this movie to the die hards out there who are looking for eye candy. This movie gets 3 left hooks from me.
Frequency
While being full of cliches, the movie aims to please as many viewers as possible and it succeeds in this task. It appeals to men by including baseball, action set pieces, sci-fi elements, and explosions. It appeals to women by working the emotional tearjerker angle: love, death, and reunions. The story in six cryptic words: father, son, firefighter, cop, serial killer, baseball. The director does a good job by throwing in some experimental touches while telling a conventional feel good story. You will like this movie if you liked CONTACT and THE GREEN MILE. It gets 3 ham radios.
From Hell
The film looks magnificent. It is atmospheric and it simulates the look and feel of late 19th century England perfectly. The story of Jack the Ripper is told with style and panache but sadly it lacks a heart. The weak script renders the viewer’s experience hollow, leaving them with no emotional connection to the characters. The killer’s identity and the ending are both anticlimactic and unsatisfactory. Overall a good old effort by the Hughes Brothers but alas in the end they have missed the target. They have created an ok film instead of a great one. This film gets 2 surgical knives.
Girlfight
Do you want to see a Latin girl from the projects persevere and succeed? Do you want to see a girl beat the crap out of guys (including her father)? Do you want to see romance? Do you want to see a girl wearing the pants in the relationship? Do you want to see how ROCKY would have turned out if the title character was played by a female. If you want to see all these things then you need to fight your way to the nearest theater and see GIRLFIGHT. Ignoring the predictable and cliched script, I must commend the top notch editing and music. As an homage to ROCKY, the lead character’s boyfriend is named Adrian after Rocky’s girlfriend! Girl power baby! The film gets 2 braided knockout punches.
Gladiator
Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous, the film is a feast for the eyes. Ridley Scott (director) once again succeeds in taking the spectator to a different world. This time it is the Roman Empire with all its blood, guts, and glories. The cinematography, lighting, and set design are all top notch, deserving of oscar nominations. Bagboy does have some negative comments (naturally): Joaqin Phoenix's (evil ruler) scar was too distracting and the camera placement during action sequences made it hard (sometimes impossible) to follow what was going on. If you liked SPARTACUS (visuals) and BLADE RUNNER (themes) then this movie is for you. It gets 4 big beautiful coliseums.
The Green Mile
This is a well-made Hollywood film. It reeks of class, from the great cast to the professional production. A definite chick flick. Tom Hanks and the crew try their hardest to make the audience weep and for the most part they succeed. If you like corny movies, this is the film for you. Me, I give it 3 electric chairs.
Go
This movie is basically a rip-off of Pulp Fiction. Juxtaposing different time periods, telling stories from different character perspectives, etc. Having said that I still enjoyed this picture. It had a great energy to it and kept you on your toes anticipating what will happen next. The story involves a group of people on Christmas Eve and their adventures within a 24-hour period. Everyone involved with this movie has done a great job, from the actors to the director. Nothing Earth shattering here as far as originality but I still recommend it for a good time. So Bagboy says: Go see Go.
Goodbye Lover
If you like your movies left of center (way way left of center) then this is the movie for you. To say this movie is quirky is an understatement. It combines elements of film noir with black comedy to deliver adultery, murder, double crosses on top of double crosses, and lots of funny one liners. A no-good wife (Patricia Arquette) is cheating on her no-good boozer husband (Dermot Mulroney) with his brother (Don Johnson). Then a murder happens, and a police inspector (Ellen DeGeneres) starts sniffing around. The minute you think you have figured it out another curve ball is thrown at you. The movie doesn't always hit its marks but it does enough times for me to recommend it for those adventurous people out there who want to see something different. I will end this review with the following thought which I would like all to remember before watching this movie: Good things happen to good people!
Hannibal
What is the number one reason Hollywood makes sequels? If you answered, 'to make money' then you have hit the mark as to why Hannibal was made. There is no attempt here to add to the mythology of our favorite cannibal, the mission is to cash in on the previous masterpiece's success and they accomplish this task masterfully. This is a pointless exercise to gross people out instead of trilling them with tension and excitement. Great acting by Hopkins and beautiful locations have been thoroughly wasted. The story goes nowhere, nothing gets resolved at the end and the only guarantee is another sequel. This film gets 2 sautéed pieces of brain.
Happy Together
This is the latest movie from the Hong Kong director Wong Kar-Wai (Chungking Express). The story is about a destructive relationship between two gay chinese men living abroad in Argentina and their struggles with making a living in a foreign land. Needless to say this is not a typical Hong Kong movie and Wong Kar-Wai is not your typical Hong Kong director. This is a movie from a director with a vision. A beautifully shot, edited, and acted movie that juxtaposes between grainy black/white and vivid colors. A must see for film buffs. For a different perspective please check out Samgo's review.
High Fidelity
This movie rocks. It works because all the elements are in place, from the writing and acting to the direction and music. Everything fits together perfectly and when that occurs you have an entry for the year 2000 best of list.
Top five reasons why you should go see this film:
- John Cusack. He is not treading new waters here and he is definitely not stretching himself as an actor. He has played a variation of this role before but damn he is so good at it, it really doesn't matter.
- Caterina Zeta (yeah baby) Jones. 'nuff said.
- Rob's (Cusack) employees/buddies: Dick and Barry. Perfect casting and perfect performances. They are spot on.
- The film deals with men's issues (their shortcomings, refusal to grow up and struggles with commitment). A story told from a male point of view is a good change-up from the usual Hollywood offerings!!
- The most important reason to go see this movie is (drum roll please), it is funny.
Hollow Man
Why should you go see this movie? Well, the story is serviceable if not original. It is the old tale of mad genius scientist going on a killing rampage (mowing down secondary characters one after the other) until the big showdown with the brave heroes. If you are a Paul Verhoven fan (ROBOCOP, BASIC INSTINCT) you will not be disappointed. He has his patented sexual organ shots and keeps the action rolling at a decent pace. What sets this movie apart is not the story, actors, director, or action scenes; it is the amazing special effects. The special effects (especially the transformation scenes) are pure perfection. They make the unbelievable look believable. This movie is a sure bet for some technical awards when Oscar time rolls around. It gets 2 invisible monkeys.
In The Mood For Love
If you've seen any of Wong Kar-Wai's other films (Chungking Express, Happy Together) then you pretty much know what you are in for. You should not expect to see a coherent story in three acts or fully drawn characters with their motivations spelled out with big letters on their foreheads. What you should expect are beautiful images, innovative camerawork, and characters whose lives we are only shown glimpses of. Sadly, as usual he also takes a beautiful piece of music and uses it over and over again to the point of nausea. It is an art film about betrayal and longing of lovers and in my humble opinion it succeeds in conveying the mood it is after, the mood for love! It gets 3 slippers.
Jackie Brown
A good movie but not a great one. The pluses: Samuel L. Jackson & Robert Deniro--great acting, the dialogue--snappy. The minuses: Pam grear and Robert Forster-- when these two were on screen by themselves it was snooze time, the movie badly needed a re-cut where a cool 20 minutes could have been thrown out (specifically the scenes with the mentioned two actors). I would definitely recommend this to QT fans.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Juvenile comedy at its best baby. Its gay and fart jokes galore in Kevin Smith's latest opus and it rocks. You won't find any politically correct humor in this one, just down and dirty fun to the core. A teenage boy's wet dreams come to life, with a plethora of cursing, babes in skintight cloths, drug references, sexual act simulations and slapstick humor, it doesn't get any better than this folks! Besides the gutter humor, Smith also takes a hilarious shot at the Internet community that is right on the mark. Along with some new players, all the characters from his other movies make an appearance in this one and each one shines for the brief moment they are on screen. This movie gets 4 fat doobies.
Jurassic Park 3
What would a summer be without the good old dinosaurs!! They are back, and somehow have obtained higher IQs. People rush to theaters in droves to see realistic looking dinosaurs in action and the movie delivers. The highlight of the film is the top quality special effects. Once again the filmmakers succeed in bringing to life creatures that have been extinct for ages. The predictable story and the acting are both serviceable, but the film lacks any originality or innovative twists, turns and shocks. Each character's fate is pretty much known from the start. The biggest problem, however, is the film's length, it is way too short. You feel short changed, like the last reel is missing or something. This movie gets 3 fossils.
Kiss of the Dragon
Very good action choreography but that is about it. A lame story and lamer acting all add up to another lame action film. No time is spent on creating three-dimensional characters or on explaining the character's motivations. The non-sensical dialogue and non-existent story garnish some cool forced action sequences. The most bizarre sequence is the one where Jet Lee walks into a room full of cops practicing martial arts and with no rhyme or reason starts beating the crap out of them. Jet Lee is fine, it is the package used to showcase his talents that stinks. The movie gets 2 needles.
Legend of Drunken Master (a.k.a. Drunken Master II)
See Jackie drink. See Jackie get drunk. See Jackie kick 100 bad guys asses while drunk. See Jackie get grounded by daddy for drinking!!! See Jackie in a badly dubbed movie full of amazingly choreographed fight scenes. This film is funny and action packed, what else do you want from a Jackie Chan movie! It gets four ginseng roots.
Life is Beautiful (La Vita e Bella)
Roberto Benigni, the man who brought you such belly laughing comedy classics as Johnny Stecchino and Il Mostro has hit another home run with his latest writing, directing and acting project. The subject is a bleak one, the holocaust, but benigni pulls it off. He will have you laughing out loud and reaching for your hankies. He pulls no punches but he does it in style. This movie won the Cannes Film Festival award for best picture. For a different perspective please check out Samgo's review.
The Limey
The movie has a very thin story line but makes up for it with fabulous acting and direction. The director moves back and forth in time line and uses different editing techniques to try and cover for the lame story of a rough and tough man, a fish out of water, coming to town to revenge his daughters death. This movie gets 3 lemons.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
One of the best movies ever made, Period. Guy Ritchie (writer & director) takes what Tarantino has done to the next level. Everything seems to click for this movie. It has both style and substance to it. It's both funny and brutally savage. It tells its story with precision and It's got cool written all over it. The movie has gangsters, drugs, money, greed, etc. The subject matter and the story are nothing new; it's the execution by the filmmaker in telling the story that is refreshing. The only drawback is the British accent of the actors that are sometimes impossible to understand. I personally had ambitions to make a movie myself one day but after watching this movie I know that I could never make anything as good. So before starting my career I quit and forever leave the bag on my head. It gets 5 shot guns.
The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship Of The Ring
If after sitting through a 3 hour movie you get the urge to go read the book it’s based on, then you know you have watched something special. Peter Jackson has pulled off something special; he has brought to life Tolkien’s middle earth. Everything in this film works together beautifully, from the casting to the sets and special effects, it is all top notch. My only beef with the film is its length, although I am not sure what could have been cut out and still be true to Tolkien’s vision. A piece of advice, dress comfortably and don’t forget to take your ass cushions with you. I for one cannot wait for the next installment of the trilogy. This film gets 5 hobbits.
Lost In Space
The name of the movie should have been "Craped In Space", because that is exactly what the people responsible for this movie have done. I was bored out of my mind with this picture, nothing on screen held my interest. The only savior for this movie was Gary Oldman's performance as Dr. Smith and some of the special effects. If you are an insomniac and you like cool, dark places then go see this movie. You will be snoozing in no time. It gets five Z's!! zzzzz....
Magnolia
In the tradition of Robert Altman (Short Cuts), the movie tries to intertwine the stories of about a dozen different people. The cutting between the different story lines and the pacing is superb, even though it is a three-hour movie you do not feel it. The movie started out with a bang and kept the momentum going until the halfway point but then it lost its focus and turned into a predictable soap opera. The characters and their problems and dilemmas turned into the same old cliches as the afternoon shows on TV. How the music was incorporated in this movie did not work for me. Most of the dialogue gets drowned out from the music and I felt it to be intrusive. I would compare this movie to a lotto ticket where you need 6 numbers to win the prize and you only get 4. You still win something but not the big jackpot. This movie is not a failure for Paul Thomas Anderson (writer, director) it is a success but not a big one. This movie gets 3 falling frogs.
The Mask Of Zorro
A very well made summer action movie with a twist. The car chases have been replaced with horse chases and the gunfights have been replaced with sword fights. Throw in a dash of humor, a charismatic leading actor, a drop dead gorgeous leading actress and a Oscar caliber supporting cast and you got yourself a great summer action movie. It gets 4 swords.
The Matrix
Question - What do all these movies have in common: Enter The Dragon, A Better Tomorrow, Snow White, Blade Runner, and Dark City. Answer - These along with countless others have been paid homage to by The Matrix (This is a nice way of saying the filmmakers stole from these pictures). The movie started very promising (as most of them do), it had the brain cells working there for a while, you didn't know if what the characters were experiencing was real or just a dream. The actors looked cool, the sets were gorgeous and the subject matter was fascinating, but then something happened. Half way through they explained what the Matrix was. By doing this they took the mystery element out and what you were left with was action sequences. Even though the movie brought up some interesting topics and asked intriguing questions, at the end it succumbed to the same formulaic summer action flick traps. It had the potential to be great but it turned out to be just another predictable summer popcorn movie. What is the Matrix? To find the answer to that question you have to go see the movie! It gets 3 yellow pills.
Me, Myself, & Irene
You know what to expect from a Farrelly brother's movie, sick humor. The film does deliver on that promise but it definitely is no There's Something About Mary. I am sorry to say that this time some of the gags just don't work, they fall flat on their faces and they keep going on and on. A definite hit or miss effort with 4 or 5 piss in your pants belly laughs. The best thing in the film is Jim Carry's
Meet Joe Black
This is a well-made romantic movie (even though the lead character is Mr. Death himself!) that hits most of its targets spot on. It is also blessed with yet another great performance from Sir Anthony Hopkins, who gives the movie a touch of class and a center. My problem with this movie is that it is way too long (3 hours) and the worst part is that you feel it. If I was to edit this picture I would make most of my cuts from the last third where the scenes seem to drag on and on (just like my sentences). I highly recommend this movie to all the ladies who love romances, and naturally having Brad Pitt up there to look at doesn't hurt either.
Meet The Parents
Gaylord Focker (you just read the funniest joke in the movie). That is the name of our protagonist, Focker, and he spends a weekend from hell at his girlfriend's parent's house, trying to get on their good side so he can ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. Focker gets into all kinds of trouble as Focker's future father-in-law hates Focker's guts (sorry couldn't resist!!). This gives the writers of the film the opening they need to go to town with our hero's last name, 'Nice job Focker', 'What are you doing Focker', on and on and on. The acting from Deniro, Stiller, and the rest of the cast is top notch, everybody displaying impeccable comedy timing. There are some funny bits but the problem is the material is a little too thin when you base more than half of your jokes on a last name (get it Focker!!). This film gets two carry-on bags.
Memento
Finally a filmmaker who takes chances, someone with big enough balls to get out of the conventional storytelling rot. This film demands audience participation to make sense and rewards them accordingly with a perfectly constructed tight psychological thriller. It could have very easily turned into a total mess but under the capable hands of Christopher Nolan we are right there anticipating the next big revelation presented to us. The film's big gimmick: the story is told backwards with the first shot representing the conclusion of the story (so pay attention!!). It gets 4 tattoos.
The Mexican
What we have here is a big stew, where the powers that be have thrown in any ingredient that they thought would produce a delicious meal and by golly it works, the stew tastes delicious. Get a couple of big stars, add a cool soundtrack, snazzy editing, get a script with a dash of black humor along with action, drama, and lots of double-crosses, and finally set the story in an exotic location (in this case Mexico). It's got box office gold written all over it, doesn't it!! Sometimes (not often) the formula mentality works and the studio heads can sit back and enjoy the cash cow. Pitt and Roberts do a decent job but the actor who shines above the stars is Soprano's James Gandolfini. He does an excellent job as a cold-blooded killer with a soft side and a secret. The film is far from perfect but it delivers on the goods. It never drags and as a fun fluff piece it hits all the marks when it comes to pleasing audiences. My big beef with the film is not tying up loose ends, like supporting characters disappearing from the screen without a trace or explanation as to what happened to them (I hate when that happens!). It gets 3 stoplights.
The Minus Man
Finally a serial killer movie where you hope that the killer doesn't get caught. Don't get me wrong, you don't want him to kill more people but he is so sweet and non-threatening that you want to forgive his homicidal tendencies. Our serial killer randomly picks his victims and goes to town. The movie is slowly paced, there are no big action sequences, and the killings are anti-climactic. Having said that, the subtle approach works in this movie and it helps build the tension up. This film is only recommended for the hardcore film enthusiasts and not your average movie going audience. I will give this movie three flasks of poison.
Mission Impossible 2
John Woo was once synonymous with cool Hong Kong action. Today he is just another Hollywood player for hire, no longer innovating but rehashing his past glories. He uses his patented signatures: lots of slow motion, two handed guns and even throws in a couple of white doves for aesthetics. Personally I am tired of the same old one-dimensional characters, car chases, explosions, and double crosses and I am looking for something new. I guess if I had been absorbed by the story or cared for the characters I would go along for the ride but that was not the case. The believability factor was not there for me. I could not swallow some of the stunts and especially the technology of morphing in to someone else simply by putting on a lookalike mask, where your physical appearance would change instantly (5 ft Cruise changing into a 6 ft villain, I don't think so babe!). Don't get me wrong, this is a professionally done film (besides the editing which I thought was sloppy) with nice choreographed action set pieces. The problem is the same old predictable setups, confrontations, and results. If you still get off on these things (no matter how many times you have seen it before) or you are too young to have experienced any other action film made by Stallone or Schwarzenegger in the past 15 years then by all means go and see this film. I guess you could say this is a classic action genre film. It gets 2 exploding sunglasses.
Mr. Nice Guy
I am sad to inform that this movie examplifies what a Jackie Chan movie has become. It is the same recipe over and over again and it all started with RUMBLE IN THE BRONX. The recipe contains: innovative and jaw dropping Jackie Chan choreographed action sequences mixed in with bad acting, bad editing, bad directing, and bad/tired/predictable (take your pick) stories. Bottom line go and see this picture if you are willing to seat through 70 minutes of crap to get 10 minutes of pure cinematic magic.
Monsters, Inc.
Pixar does it again. The company who brought you TOY STORY delivers the goods on another film that can be enjoyed by the whole family. The story, computer generated images, and especially the voice acting is top notch. Take the kids and head on over to your friendly neighborhood theater, you don’t want to miss it. This film gets 4 screams.
The Mummy
Typical Hollywood crap served as summer fun. This movie doesn't know what it wants to be, a comedy or a horror movie and it ends up being neither funny nor scarry. It is jam packed with the same lame dialogue, jokes and plot twists that us moviegoers have been put through many times before. Take this scene: the girl hears a noise, the music becomes ominus, she decides to check out the noise alone, the place is dark, the music gets louder and then BAM something pops up and scares the hell out of her (and supposedly the audience) but it just turns out to be the goofy brother having a joke at her expense. Original, scarry, funny, I think not. On the positive side you have some cool special effects and if you are a young person who has not seen many movies then you might (emphasis on might) enjoy yourself. It is a shame that such great special effects had to be wasted on such a lame movie. I rather be Mummified alive than to sit through this crappy movie again.
The Mummy Returns
A complete waste of time. Stay Away. Do not encourage Hollywood to make more crap like this. The movie is full of action sequences from start to finish but they are as exciting, original, believable, or amusing as watching paint dry for two hours. There is no time or effort spent on character development, thus there is no emotional connection or care for any of the protagonists by the viewer. At the end of the day the audience knows, regardless of how dangerous the situation or how high the odds of survival, nothing will happen to the lead actors because they all have to come back for the next sequel. The biggest kicker is with all the money they spent on making this action packed bore, some of the special effects are the cheesiest and fakest you will find in a major Hollywood release. It gets 1 ancient bracelet.
The Ninth Gate
The NINTH GATE conjures up memories not of hell and the devil but of HEAVEN'S GATE. Another bomb from a director who showed great potential, created a great buzz and delivered a dud. This movie starts out great but soon bad acting and an illogical script full of holes takes over. Johnny Depp does not embarrass himself but some of the supporting cast (dear god have some mercy on them and find them a job in another field) are awful. The other major problem is that all the characters in this film are two dimensional, you do not relate with their motivations and reasoning for doing things. This movie does possess some redeeming qualities such as the cinematography, which is gorgeous, and the sight of the devil herself (never thought the evil one would be this gorgeous!) but it is no ROSEMARY'S BABY. I give the movie 2 gate keys out of 9.
Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
There is only one reason to see this film, Eddie Murphy. He plays at least 6 characters (that I could count) and plays each of them beautifully. From Sherman Klump to Granny, he creates three-dimensional fully rounded characters that you care about. The story is basically an excuse to set the comedy up and for the most part the fart and sex based humor works. It gets 3 All You Can Eat Buffets.
Out of Sight
A very well made summer flick. Jennifer Lopez and George Cloony made the screen sizzle and the supporting character actors were top notch (there are even a couple of surprise appearances!!!). Great acting, writhing and direction. This movie gets Three 'C' Notes $$$.
The Phantom Menace
Awesome baby. Ignore all the bad reviews floating on the Internet and newspapers, this movie kicks ass. If you go expecting a feel good kids summer action movie, you will not be disappointed. It has amazing visuals, characters, and action. There is so much going on that you need to watch it several times to catch everything happening on the screen. All the computer animated characters worked for me. None of them came across as annoying like some other reviewers have suggested. I was amazed by the 3 dimensional worlds and characters that were created on the screen. Lots of questions lingering from the first trilogy get answered here while other questions popup, making the wait for the second installment that much harder. George Lucas has done a fine job, considering the pressure that was on him. He has made the wait worthwhile. Go see it now. I know Bagboy will see it at least one more time (maybe twice or three times more). It gets five lightsabers.
Paulie
A great family entertainment. Finally a movie you can take your kids to and not get bored out of your mind (you might even enjoy it more than them). This is a very funny, touching, well acted picture. If you liked BABE then you will love PAULIE. I will predict that the sale of Parrots will sore through the roof!!
Payback
The first great action picture of the year. This is not your typical hollywood by the numbers action flick. In this movie nobody is good, everybody is bad and Porter (Mel Gibson) is the badest. The last great anti-hero was The Man With No Name (Clint Eastwood) in those classic Sergio Leone pictures and now we have Porter (no one knows his first name). This film gives you cool music, great dialogue, and superb acting. Remember some of the famous movie catch phrases of the past (ex: "hasta la vista"), well here is a new one for you: "I Got Hammered" ! Besides having the potential of being a cult classic, I predict this movie will do great box office business just by word of mouth. Everyone who left the theatre had a satistied look on their face and the last time I got that feeling from an audience was after watching a little movie called There's Something About Mary.
The Perfect Storm
After the first 45 minutes, the movie picks up steam and is a roller coaster thrill ride on the sea. It tells the true story of a group of fishermen out in the sea, fighting the elements and trying to survive the storm of the century. Will they make it out alive or will they perish? If you haven't read the best selling book (or watched the news back in 1991) then you wouldn't know the answer to that question and will enjoy yourself immensely going along for the ride. The director, Wolfgang Peterson (DAS BOOT), is a master at creating atmosphere and maintaining the tension throughout the picture. You feel like you are in the middle of the storm along with the ship's crew. The special effects are superb, creating realistic looking monstrous waves. The film gets 3 swordfishes.
Pi
This movie is the first effort of a new filmmaker, Darren Aronofsky . His work has a definite uniqueness in its vision and style. This movie has a great look and feel of claustrophobia to it. You feel the lead characters paranoia. You will leave the theatre with the images and sounds of the movie playing in your head. Not recommended for the general public but for movie buffs looking for the next Spielberg or Tarantino. It gets 4 drills.
Pitch Black
What we have here is your typical survival movie with a twist. In this case we have a space ship that crash-lands on a deserted planet and the survivals are a motley crew that include a psychopatic killer (our hero!!) and a dope shooting mercenary to name just a few. The twist is that dealing with the on the loose sadistic killer and getting the ship off the planet is the least of their problems. They also have to deal with the planets inhabitants, a cross between the creatures from ALIEN and bats. Do you get the feeling that these people are in deep s**t. The acting and the special effects are serviceable and the movie definitely achieves what it sets out to do, it creates suspense and tension. The problem is that there is really nothing-original going on here, if you are a regular moviegoer you have seen all this before. Geared towards a male dominated audience, the movie can be classified as a definite summer popcorn flick (that just happens to have been released in the middle of winter!). The movie gets 3 flashlights (believe me they will come in handy while watching this movie (take a look at the title for god's sake and start screaming)!!).
Planet of the Apes
This film is solely recommended based on its presentation of realistic looking apes. The great makeup work and art direction (ape city looks fab) is a must see. Each ape was portrayed as a believable 3 dimensional character, but the same cannot be said of the humans. They are just there to fill up screen space. In order to enjoy the film, one must not think too much about the holes in the script and overlook some major logic flaws, like the presence of horses on an uninhabited planet. It gets 4 ape capsules.
Ronin
Great cast plus two great-extended car chase scenes in the narrow roads of France equal a recommendation for this movie. However, not all is great in the land of wine and cheese. The story has as many holes as another European country's cheese (Swiss). You will leave the theater with some questions unanswered. Bagboy also left the theater thinking that there were some scenes left on the cutting room floor that would have cleared up the complicated story but since the movie already runs for two hours... well you know how the studios work!
The Royal Tenenbaums
This film can be described in one word, quirky. The Tenenbaum family can be described in one word, dysfunctional. Each member of the family can be described in one word, f***ed up. As you can see the word, ‘funny’ did not make an appearance in the previous sentences. Unlike his previous triumphs, Bottle Rocket and Rushmore, this one is just a little bit off. There is some great acting on display by Gene Hackman and a few smirks here and there, but overal this is a misfire by Wes Anderson. My recommendation for the Anderson groupies is to wait for the DVD. This film gets 2 knife stabs to the belly.
Run Lola Run
Watching the first half hour of this German import is like shooting yourself up with an energy boost mix. Pure cinema magic. It does start to loose its momentum after that but it still keeps you gripped wanting to know how everything will turn up this time!!!! (hint). The director has a distinct style all his own and it works. His use of music and editing is spot on. The movie deals mostly with randomness and the arbitrariness of our lives. How one event could have a domino effect not only on our lives but on the lives of people we come in contact with. My advice is to run and catch it before it runs out of your neighborhood theater.
Rush Hour
This was a fun movie. A definite summer crowd pleaser (I know that the summer is over but if it was released in the summer and people went to see it then they would definitely have been pleased!!). The two lead actors, Jackie Chan with his amazing stunts and fast moves and Chris Tucker with his fast moving (spit them out and see what sticks) one liners, more than make up for a by the numbers script that is full of stereotyping of people. I highly recommend this movie for people who want to just have a good time and leave the theater with a smile.
Rush Hour 2
A great summer film for the whole family. The focus isn't on the story or logic, its on having good mindless fun. Jackie Chan with his acrobatics and Chris Tucker with his mouth, both shine once more. The chemistry between the two stars is still there in full force and they have taken it to the next level. To top it off they have even thrown in a couple of hot babes who can kick some serious ass!! It is even better than the first one and gets 4 bomb balls.
Saving Private Ryan
This is a must see movie mainly for the opening and closing action sequences. They are the best World War II battle sequences ever put on the screen (real and intense). If one is to describe this movie in one word it would be intense. One thing is for sure, you will leave the theatre feeling exhausted, as if you had been there with those men fighting the Germans. This movie gets the 5 gun salute!
Scary Movie
It is billed as a spoof of such horror movies as the SCREAM trilogy and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. However 90 percent of the humor is based on body parts (think penis), sexual acts, and sexual preferences (in other words it is your typical teenage sex comedy). They go through all the teenage movie clichés; you have your virgin, school slut, jock, sexually confused gay guy, pot heads, blow jobs, etc. Out of the whole 90 minutes there is maybe 10 minutes of clever, original material. The rest is a re-thread of old crap. This movie is tailor made for a group of teenage guys that are high and horny, looking for some laughs on a Saturday night. They will have a blast, laughing their ass off watching the stupid juvenile humor. The film gets 3 scary masks for them and 1 scary mask for the rest of us.
Shanghai Noon
Jackie Chan comes through with his best Hollywood film. This is a top notch summertime fun film that can be enjoyed by both the young and the old. Pay the money, turn off your brain and for a change reap the benefits. The film has great Jackie Chan action sequences (not a lot in quantity but great quality) complimented by Owen Wilson's laid back sense of humor (don't forget to watch the end credits!!). The theater where I saw it was filled with laughter. If you liked Rush Hour you will definitely love this film. It gets 4 high kicks.
Shrek
This is a must see family movie that can be enjoyed by both adults and children. No one will be bored. The computer-generated animation is in the same league as the Toy Story movies, even surpassing them in regards to the human facial expressions. The voice acting is phenomenal also, especially Eddie Murphy who's star shines the brightest. I do have a bit of a problem with the depiction of violence in this movie as some lives are deemed to be expendable by the filmmakers. It gets 4 eyeballs.
The Sixth Sense
Its about a boy who doesn't fit in, a doctor with the guilty conscious of not being able to help one of his patients, a mother coping with his abnormal child, a wife dealing with a husband who is obsessed with his work, and yet it is about much more than that. This movie will give you a good scare while also working on your heart strings. It sucks you in and sets you up for the surprise ending. You will leave the theatre thinking that they had pulled one over on you but the more you think about it and play the movie back in your head, you realize that it all makes sense and the puzzle pieces do fit. The acting, directing, editing, script and music all combine to represent a fine whole. You don't need a sixth sense, just common sense, to know this is a must see movie.
Snake Eyes
If this was a short movie of about 30 minutes (specifically the first 30 minutes of the movie) then I would have to say rush out and see it. The sad news is that this is a 2 hour movie and the other hour and a half is total crap. This is supposed to be a thriller but for some strange reason the filmmakers let us know who the bad guy is at the infamouse 30th minute of the movie (the revelation is not a big surprise) and that my friends is the signal for you to get the hell out of there and go check out some other movie playing in that theatre. This movie truly craped out.
Snatch
Guy Ritchie (director) comes up aces again and delivers the goods with another rock ‘em sock ‘em (for guys enjoyment only) film. Great use of jump cuts (best since Godard’s Breathless) and innovative camera movements all add up to a fun atmosphere and a rapid pace (100 mph of pure rush). It is Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels part 2 as he mines the same territory as that classic flick. Once again you have lots of colorful characters running around after each other (this time over a priceless diamond), a pumping soundtrack, great inaudible dialogue, and sweet editing. This film gets 5 bare knuckles.
Star Trek: Insurrection
If you are a Star Trek fan then I would not discourage you from going to see this movie (not that I would have success) and I guess you will enjoy it. Personally I am not a Trekie and I did not follow the TV show but as I was watching this movie I felt like I was watching a glorified TV episode. The story (fountain of youth type of premise) to me was not that original and the action was extremely predictable and boring. So I could not recommend this movie to us non trekies. It gets a single phaser.
Swordfish
Cliché cliché cliché. This movie is full of it. After a cool monologue by Travolta, a suspenseful action set piece and a cool looking explosion, it is downhill all the way baby. Story, acting, action: sucked, sucked sucked. Here is my advice to you, find a theatre that shows both Pearl Harbor and Swordfish, then coordinate the show times so the end of the first 10 minutes of Swordfish coincides with the beginning of the Japanese invasion of Pearl Harbor. When they are done bombing the crap out of the Americans, run back to catch the end of Swordfish. You will be one happy customer. This movie gets 2 boobs (courtesy of Halle Berry).
The Thin Red Line
This is a movie based on a book about solders in WWII, with a lot of internal dialogue by the solders in action on the pacific front. I left the movie theater unfulfilled, like there was something missing. Even though the movie is close to three hours long, I felt that the stories were not told in their entirety and that there was pieces missing. There were some haunting images, great acting and great action set pieces to be sure but I felt that the movie was also incoherent at times (just like this review). I can not recommend this movie. It gets 2 hand grenades.
The 13th Warrior
A nice little Viking movie (if there is such a thing). The story is very simple (fish out of water with a twist of lets defend the town against the bad guys) and it does not have a deep message (kill kill kill and maim). Having said that it does what it sets out to do and that is to suck you in to another time and place where men were warriors and the bad guys were so nasty that they ate you after killing you. A time when Vikings ruled. Antonio Banderas does a fine job as an Arab amongst Norseman and the actors playing the Vikings were perfectly cast. I definitely recommend this movie if you are looking for a summer no brainer enjoy the popcorn type of movie.
Three Kings
A great new war/comedy/drama/heist movie from the director who brought you SPANKING THE MONKEY, David O. Russell. There is something here for everyone, from great staged fighting sequences to surrealistic images. This is a top-notch movie and everyone involved from the actors to the director/writer has done themselves proud. It starts out as a heist movie and ends up as a ...(don't worry I won't spoil it for you!). A Hollywood movie with many layers that also entertains (when was the last time that happened!). It is nice to see a movie tell a story, in this case the USA vs. Iraq conflict, with objectivity. I will give this movie the three-gun salute.
Three to Tango
Hey folks are you ready for another romantic comedy? What's that you say? NO! Folks how about if I tell you that there is a twist in this one, do I have your attention? What if the girl thinks that the boy is gay but in reality he is not but he can't tell her that on the count of if he does he will loose his job! Are you still with me? Yes folks to make it fresh the filmmakers thought of throwing the old gay angle on this one. What was that, is it worth seeing? Well if you like a movie that plays it safe, is predictable, and ends on a happy note where everyone gets what they want then by all means run to the theaters and catch this beauty. By the way, if you are a Mathew Perry fan (it's ok you don't have to be ashamed sir) save your money because he basically plays the same character as in Friends (which you can watch for free on TV). It is not as bad as I am making it seem though, the movie is full of chuckles! This movie gets nothing from me but a big O as in OH My God please don't let me sit through another predictable romantic comedy. It gets zero applause.
The Truman Show
This is Jim Carrey's art movie. The one in which he tones down his hyperbolic acting style and under plays it perfectly. A very well made picture but definitely not a classic picture that most of the critics make it out to be. This movie will re-enforce your fear of media and television. It will also make you look twice in to the toilet bowl to make sure there are no hidden cameras recording this crucial moment in your life! The film gets 3 hidden cameras.`
There's Something About Mary
Warning: This movie is not for the easily offended. But for the rest of us who have been dying for a comedy to come out that is actually cry your eyes out funny this movie delivers big time. A very funny movie that I highly recommend anyone who is in a funk to go see, you will come out of the theatre with a smile a mile wide. The best comedy of the year. For a different perspective please check out Samgo's review.
Titan A.E.
A visual feast. An adrenaline fueled trill ride. The filmmakers have done a fantastic job of mixing traditional animation with computer generated imagery. They have succeeded in creating a visually rich future world, full of weird and wacky aliens. Too bad the script is not as strong as the visuals. The story is barely serviceable; the dialogue is predictable and full of clichés. Even though it doesn't score any points for originality, I still highly recommend this film for its visual achievements. It gets 3 golden rings.
Titanic
A fantasic picture. Very well made. One of the years best. The acting, writing and directing is top notch. A must see.
Traffic
Traffic is terrific. The film succeeds in telling several interwoven stories about people and the different ways drugs influences their lives. The filmmakers do a brilliant job of creating a fully fleshed out story and characters without being too preachy or offering simplistic solutions. They just show the facts and let the audience decide for themselves. The use of documentary style camerawork and different color filters add greatly to the realistic, gritty ambiance. This is an Oscar worthy effort and it gets 5 kilos of coke.
Unbreakable
Unbreakable is unbealivable and watching it should be unavoidable. Don't walk, don't run, but fly to your nearest theater and watch another masterpiece from the team that brought you The Sixth Sense. The less you know going in the more you will enjoy the ride (the clues are once again there if you look for them). What I can tell you is the production is top notch. The director utilizes some inventive camera angels and lots of long takes. It has a very slow pace, compared to today's MTV inspired films, and that is a good thing. Bagboy highly recommends this film. It gets 5 mint condition comic books.
Vanilla Sky
The movie’s ambitions are simple but it chooses to relay its message in unconventional ways. It likes to play with the audience’s patience and their expectations, disorienting them to the point where they don’t have a clue whether anything they are watching is real or just a figment of someone’s imagination. This makes for a challenging film, a non-commercial film and a big gamble for Cruise who risks alienating his vast kingdom of fans. I enjoyed the twists and turns but I fear that audiences will leave the theater disappointed, not being privy to another brainless Tom Cruise vehicle. This film gets 3 lucid dreams.
Very Bad Things
Things this movie is not: This is not a date movie. This is not a movie to take your kids to. This is not a movie for the easilly offended. This is not a movie for those who are looking for a happy ending.
Things this movie brings to the table: Dark (pitch black) and sick humor. Snappy dialogue and good acting. However the most important thing, the most important message this movie delivers is to the men out there and the message is...DON'T GET MARRIED AND DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE KIDS! This movie gets 3 cork screws.
The X-Files: Fight the Future
Big disappointment and I mean BIG DISAPPOINTMENT. Being a big X-Files fan I went to see this movie with the expectation of finding answers to most (if not all) of the burning questions during the past five seasons of the TV show. Basically I was looking for a closure to the long running plot lines. What I got was a story full of holes and lack of logic. It was just another episode of the TV show but this time with a bigger budget for exploding things. The movie is very well made but it is a waste of time as far I am concerned.
X-Men
Let me start by saying the film is not a total disaster! As a matter of fact it is one of the better comic book adaptations Hollywood has done. It is leaps and bounds above BARBED WIRE, JUDGE DREDD, and TANK GIRL (please don't tell me you have never heard of these gems because they are all cult classics!!....not). The film succeeds in creating a believable universe where mutants and humans have an uneasy coexistence. The costumes, gadgets, and special effects are all cool and not at all cheesy or laughable. For me the movie failed big time when it came to character development. Wolverine, Professor X and Magneto came out looking great while Storm, Sabretooth, and Cyclops came out looking stiff, one dimensional and uninteresting. Also the action sequences, although serviceable, did not have any flow to them. If you are a reader of X-MEN comic books then this is a must see movie because you are already familiar with all the different character's origins, motivations, past history, and relationships. With this knowledge you can overcome the movie's shortcomings and easily fill in the missing pieces. For the rest a longer cut with a meatier plot is a necessity. It gets 2 1/2 adamantiums.
Zero Effect
An awesome movie. If you like detective stories, with a lot of humor then this is the picture for you. It is so good it makes you wish you could run to your local bookstore and grab the next adventure of Darrel Zero. Catch it before they yank it out of the theaters. Why you ask, because it is an intelligent, well-written movie and we know what happens to those movies, don't we? That is correct, they disappear after a couple of weeks never to be heard from again.
Zoolander
This film is stupid but not in a funny stupid way. For the most part the jokes fall flat on their faces and their quality isn’t much higher than the title character’s IQ. There is less than a handful of genuine laughs to be found here. On the other hand, lots of awkward silences can be found where audiences are supposed to be laughing at jokes that never hit their mark. Owen Wilson is the only actor who comes out of this smelling like a rose and the others come off smelling like rotten fruits. This movie gets 1 facial expression, the expression shown by a dumb founded spectator who paid $8 to see this crap on the big screen.
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